My Aunts in Town

As many of you know, Kim and I started the adoption process in January 2005, and logged our information with China in October 2005. We didn't tell anyone about our adoption because we didn't want to be hassled by people asking us questions all the time, like 'When are you going to China?' and, well, pretty much just that. But we did tell a few people, including my Uncle Ron and his young, trophy wife Debbie.

They are the parents of precious little Amy (everyone calls her 'little Amy' even though she is a teenager and getting quite tall, but the 'little Amy' moniker seems to have stuck) - anyway they became the parents of little Amy around the time that Kim and I started dating, and having experienced a lengthy adoption process themselves we figured they could keep a secret. We also told them because throughout our adoption process Kim and I often talked about little Amy and all the happiness that she has brought to our family, and so they were quite an inspiration for us.

We decided to tell them in the fall of 2005 while we were in St. Louis for the last game ever at Busch stadium. Since then, Debbie especially (sometimes I spell it expecially) has been dying to tell people what we were up to but we swore her to secrecy, so when we finally told our family at Christmas she was quite relieved. She and Connie (my Dad's cousin but we consider her our aunt) were very excited about coming to NY after we got back from China, and they made plans to come see us the week before Labor Day.

Joining them, which was quite a pleasant surprise, was my Great-Aunt Arlene. For those of you who have not met Arlene, I can describe her as follows:

• She is the sister of my beloved Grandma Mary Jayne
  
• She is not to be messed with
• She is saucy
• She will outlive us all
• She always comes through when she is needed

So Arlene came to New York with Connie and Debbie, and our friend Maria (the baby food chef) was in Italy hanging out with Italians, so my Aunts stayed at her apartment downstairs in our building.

The trip was fantastic, except for Connie's excessive boozing. The girlies loved them all and they loved the girlies, and we even had a few 'firsts' while they were here.

It was absolutely wonderful because Debbie had been talking about coming to New York for years, and Uncle Ron always said, in his best Lee Roy impersonation: 'Sure, let's see what happens.' Surprisingly, one of the things that never seemed to happen was airline tickets did not miraculously appear, so they never came to visit us in New York.

Now Uncle Ron is retired and living a life of leisure (defined as 'spending between 5 and 7 hours per day doing yard work and cleaning up branches'), and Debbie finally came to visit.

Connie had been here a few times, most recently in 2002 when her daughter Marcy got engaged in a horse-drawn carriage and her son Jeff and I went to see the legendary St. Louis Blues play the New York Rangers (that's hockey, in case you didn't know). Lloyd also ran the marathon that year, but he's run about 60 of them so that wasn't that surprising.

Most people, after they run a marathon, go home and take a hot bath and get a massage and take Tylenol and curl up in a fetal position and weep in anguish and beg the good Lord Jesus to please deliver the relief that can only come from sweet, sweet death. Not Lloyd - after he was done running 26.2 miles, he stopped to tie his shoe, went back to the hotel to take a quick shower, met the rest of the group while they were shopping, and then took us all out for steak. When we asked him later if he was happy with his performance in the marathon, he said 'Did I run a marathon today? Hmmm. I have run so many they all seem to blend together.'

Lloyd has run so many marathons that sometimes he goes out to get a gallon of milk and accidentally runs a marathon. He doesn't even realize what he is doing. One time he was running a marathon and he accidentally ran another marathon. That's how many marathons he has run. A lot. Seriously.

Anyway, Connie had been here a few times before, but Debbie had never been to New York. Arlene was here back in the late 1970s, when there were drug dealers and roving packs of wild gangs, and murders all the time, and each person in New York got mugged at least once a week.

One time she was here and these three guys tried to take her purse. She kicked one of them right in the side of his head just above his left ear (among other things she is a master of the martial arts) and the other two she punched so hard right in the sternal notch that they crumpled like a bag of wet sand. She beat those punks so badly that they started crying, and then just to prove her point, she taunted them for being crybabies. Like I said, Arlene is not to be messed with.

My point is that Connie and Arlene had been to New York before but Debbie had not, and we were very thrilled that they all came to meet the girlies.

Please enjoy the photos and videos below.

Connie and Debbie with the girlies in Central Park

One of the 'firsts' from this week - the girlies (expecially Sally) would crawl to the stroller, pull themselves up, and make their way all around the stroller. It was very cool!!

Playing paddycake next to the stroller.

Debbie with Amelia at Central Park Story Hour

All three of the aunts with the girlies in Central Park

Mike and Kim with the girlies standing in the park and a huge pregnant woman right behind us

Debbie eating a hot dog, Connie trying to get a bite, and Arlene on the lookout for thugs. Debbie enjoyed the hot dog so much that she asked the vendor for his secret ingredient. His answer? Extra hog snout (I was going to say 'Extra hog rectum' but I thought Kim would get mad).

The three aunts with the girlies in the stroller one early morning

Connie and Debbie went to Tiffany's

Sally is trying to look tough (Arlene taught her this look - she calls it 'The Eastwood')

In front of Bethesda Fountain in Central Park

Arlene with Sally - seriously, Arlene could kick your butt right now without even breaking a sweat. Afterwards she would sit down and have a nice cold diet soda and not give it a second thought.

All of the aunts with the girlies in Central Park

Connie teaching Amelia to read. The book was 'Silence of the Lambs' and Amelia had nightmares for days. And now she won't eat fava beans.

Our girlies' first monogrammed stuff - little travel bags with their names on them (which is what 'monogrammed' means, apparently). And they are pink, which is perfect.

Connie and Arlene in the park - Connie wore the sunglasses because her eyes were bloodshot from her massive hangover. The night before, after Connie passed out Arlene did a few more shots of tequila and called Connie a lightweight.

The aunts walking down our street

In front of our building

And now, some video recordings:

The aunts arrive at our apartment



With the girlies in Central Park - this was very cool because it was the first time that Amelia walked across the blanket. Debbie took all the credit.

Debbie carelessly throwing Amelia in the air



Debbie feeding the girlies a banana



Debbie and Arlene with the girlies in the park - I think I am talking to Uncle Ron in the background. One time years ago Debbie was exhausted and Uncle Ron was trying to be nice, so he told her that she could have a free afternoon and read that Jack Klugman biography she had been meaning to read (Debbie has always been a huge Klugman fan) and Uncle Ron would take care of things at home. He said 'You go ahead and spend the afternoon reading all about Jack Klugman and and I will babysit Amy.'

Apparently you are not supposed to say 'I will babysit' when it is your own daughter. Debbie yelled at poor Uncle Ron and he had to apologize, even though he was being nice by letting her read the Jack Klugman biography. He advised me to never say 'Kim, you go ahead and read the Jack Klugman biography - I will stay home and babysit the girlies.'

So I don't say that, expecially since Kim doesn't have any interest in Jack Klugman's life story, which is odd because it would be interesting. He played the belovedly rumpled Oscar Madison on TVs 'The Odd Couple' and the no-nonsense Medical Examiner on 'Quincy M.E.' He had throat cancer and almost died, but is now healthy and 85 years old and is still working, currently starring in 'The Sunshine Boys' at the George Street Playhouse in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Why wouldn't you want to read his autobiography? I don't get it.

Anyway, here is a video of Debbie and Arlene with the girlies and me in the background talking to Uncle Ron.



Arlene singing to Amelia. I was going to type 'Arlene is singing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' but I didn't know how to spell it.



Connie with Sally after her bath and Arlene teaching Amelia to stand



Connie with Sally making fart sounds - Everyone thinks that Connie is all nice and a pillar of the community and a devoted family woman and all that, but they don't know that Connie also likes to teach babies how to make fart sounds.

Julian's Birthday Party

Julian, the progeny of Stacie and Gene, just turned three years old. To commemorate this event, the Corcorans decided to throw a party. I thought that was a really good idea.

The party was at the carnival in Central Park - in the winter it is Wollman Rink, where you can ice skate and junk, but in the summer, it is too hot to ice skate. So they brought in a few carnival rides and people pay money to go on the rides. It's a big profit deal, but kids seem to like that sort of thing.

Here are some photos of the party and the carnival.

The cool airpline ride - Stacie and Julian in back, Craig and Henry Carrigan in front

Stacie's brother Steven and his son Matthew

Gene and Julian

Kim with Sally on the boat ride

Mike with Sally on the train

I'm trying to think what could be better than a tower of cupcakes - nothing comes to mind

Two videos:

The Train Ride



The Boat Ride

Bernie and Nancy in New York

Kim used to work at Dun & Bradstreet in St. Louis as a new business sales rep, which was almost certainly as glamorous as it sounds. Anyway, one of the guys she worked with was Bernie Winograd, who was a bit of a legend around D&B, and he sort of took Kim under his wing and tried to teach her how to be a successful sales D&B person.

Shortly after Kim got to St. Louis, Bernie took early retirement, but he and Kim stayed in touch after he left the company. Bernie always made point to save Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter coupons for Kim.

Kim and Bernie have remained friends throughout the years, and he and his lovely wife Nancy come to NY every year to see relatives and enjoy some of our city's finest hotel accommodations. They were in town the same week as Julie and my aunts, so it was quite a hectic week of visitors, but Bernie and Nancy stopped by the park to meet the girlies.

Below are some photos - please enjoy.

Bernie, Nancy, and Kim with the girlies in the park

Nancy feeding Sally a snack, probably some beef jerky or a burrito from Quik Trip.

Julie in Town

Kim's sister Julia was in town for some scam work trip, but really just came in to meet the girlies. She was in town for the whole week, and got to spend several days with Sally and Amelia, but we only got two pictures. I don't know why.

Anyway, enjoy the photos and the video.

Julie in the park with Sally - I never noticed Julie's teeth, but she has very nice teeth. And they're real!

Julie in the park with the girlies in the stroller. We were on our way to watch Kim play softball - she won the championship, by the way. Woo Hoo!!

Here is a video of Julie pushing the stroller:

At the Beach in Bay Head

Our friends Gene and Stacie, when they are not squandering their loot on baby sleep therapists, spend their weekends in Bay Head, New Jersey. They were nice enough to invite us down a few weekends ago, and make us dinner, and buy us beer. I sprung for the Hostess Ding Dongs, though, so it's not like I didn't contribute anything to the weekend.

The girlies loved the beach and the baby pool. We also went to the Bay Head town pool, which was measured by leading pool thermometerists as being the third coldest pool in history, right behind one in Finland. It was COLD, but the girlies wanted to go in the water, so I got in, even though I hate cold water. I think all pools and the ocean should always be the temperature of a nice warm bath, which is why I am not so upset aboot the global warming thing.

Plus, I just found out that moose in Norway (country motto: We're right next to Finland, probably) release so much gas through burping and, you know, tooting, that each moose is as bad for global warming as driving 8,000 miles a year. So I think that the key to solving global warming is killing all those evil carbon-dioxide-excreting mooses.

It turns out that it is not the fault of suburban housewives who drive their Lincoln Excursion or whatever those giant things are called to the mall to buy pants and to get a delicious, refreshing Orange Julius. Who knew? I am so relieved that I don't have to worry about that any more.

Anyway, here are some photos. Oh, and the girlies don't really like the car, although they have only been in a car twice, once coming home from the airport, and once to go to Bay Head. We are in the car again tomorrow to go to see some other friends in New Jersey, so I am hoping for a minimal amount of crying.

Me playing with both girlies while Kim was out goofing off

Kim and Stacie - a couple of hot chicks

The girlies in the baby pool

Hanging out with the girlies in the baby pool

Amelia playing in the pool

Sally looking very cute

The two girlies before bed

The first time at the beach EVER

Here are a few videos:

The girlies at the beach for the first time ever - this is Sally:



Amelia in the ocean for the first time:



The girlies in the baby pool:



Another one in the baby pool:

Rhonda in New York

Rhonda, Kim's brother's wife, came to New York while I was off on a big work trip. I don't really have anything funny to write about her trip, since I wasn't here while Rhonda was in town, but I am sure some funny stuff happened.

We love Rhonda - she is very groovy and she and Stevie live the perfect suburban life in Minnesota. And I was very glad she came to help Kim while I was off carousing, er uh I mean 'working'.

Rhonda talking to her son Cameron on the phone, telling him to eat a potato.

Rhonda playing paddycake with Sally.

Rhonda giving Sally a smooch.


Here is a video of Rhonda making Sally cry:




Here is a video of Rhonda with Amelia on the swingsets (sorry - Kim loves to video lengthwise):




Here is a video of Rhonda playing paddycake with Sally - the video seems to be have been taken in some sort of cave or underground lair (it's very dark):