Pink Baby and Plaid Baby

2010-04-08T16:35:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the Pink Baby and Plaid Baby Site

We will be posting information here about our beautiful little twin girls.

The postings are in chronological order, most recent first, so feel free to page down (or go to previous pages) to see the older postings. You can click on any of the photos to see them in larger format. The postings are so fascinating that you will want to read them in their entirety - you should probably let your boss know you will be late for work.

By the way this blog is ridiculously self-indulgent, so apologies for that. On the other hand, it is about us and our twin girls, so it probably should be self-indulgent. If you think it's too focused on us and the boring details of our life, I would be open to suggestions about how a blog entirely about us and our two new babies from China could seem less about us. Perhaps if I included a stock ticker or a scroll bar with breaking news from the WNBA.

If you are reading this blog then you probably know my email address, so email me with any questions if you want.

2010-04-08T15:19:00.019-04:00

January - February 2010

I have nothing funny or interesting to say about January and February.

But the girlies were cute and both Jenny and my Mom came to town (not together, though).

What's cuter than that?

Jenny, Greg, and the girlies in front of the apartment

Amelia at the Carousel in the freezing cold

Sally Running around the New York Public Library

Kim and the girlies in Lambertville, New Jersey seeing her friend Mikel Ross

Having dinner at Mikel Ross's fancy country estate

Kim reading to the girlies preschool class

More classroom reading

My Mom and Amelia with Big Bird

At Lombardi's Pizza - the first pizzeria in the US (or so they claim)

My Mom playing with Amelia and telling Sally a hilarious story about claims adjusting

2010-04-06T01:06:00.000-04:00

December 2009 with the Girlies

December was groovy - sledding in the park, Santa, Christmas tree, presents, all that jazz (By the way, I wasn't really talking about jazz right there - I was saying 'all that jazz' like one would say 'all that stuff'. Apparently the cool kids say 'all that jazz' while they do their AOL Instant Messaging and listen to their iPod Minis and wear leg warmers -- coincidentally, jazz fills me with anxiety . Of course I like the old Kansas City-style jazz and Dixieland/New Orleans jazz, but this free-form nonsense of some guy plucking a giant stand-up bass for 37 minutes with no idea where he is going or what he plans to do next is just completely and utterly dreadful! Songs are supposed to have a catchy melody, several verses, and maybe even a dc al Coda if you are feeling a bit experimental, but by no means should they go on and on and on with no point or direction. This is also one of the dozens of reasons why I absolutely despise the Doors).

Since I included my vomit story in the last posting I have officially run out of ideas, so no more hilarious anecdotes shall be forthcoming. Here are the girlies and their wacky, unpredictable hijinks:

Sally decorating the Christmas Tree

Both girlies getting ready to decorate the tree - Amelia is still Spidergirl

Amelia with one of our Sinatra ornaments

Watering the Tree

Kim and the girlies sledding in Central Park

The girlies at their 'Winter Sing-a-Long Festival' - the school can't call it a 'Christmas Sing-a-Long Festival', on account of the hippies

On our way to Bloomingdales to see Santy Claus

Sally was committed to sitting on Santa's lap, up until the last minute. Then she bailed.

Dinner with DeYan

Watching the Big 12 Championship game with their Longhorns shirt - my Uncle Drew would have been thrilled

My Uncle Drew loves the Longhorns so much that he promised that he will pay for all of our girlies college expenses if they get into the University of Texas - fortunately, that is their safety school

Cool Christmas Presents from Ina

The very last night ever in their cribs - Kim was very sad!

Jumping in the Cribs

Christmas morning at Aunt Jenny's house - Amelia polished off the cookies that Santa left behind

Jake (who goes to college!) helping Sally with her stocking

This time with Amelia - Jake is tall, so this is a good task for him

Elijah with Sally, having a laugh

The girlies with their cousin Saylor - her name is quite confusing (and possibly misspelled), as I don't believe she has ever even captained a sailboat

The girlies with Elijah and Saylor, shirking their assigned chores

The girlies with Gil and Rachael

Judy, the Girlies, Joey Bag O' Donuts, and Amy - I think Sally is opening Amy's Christmas present

My niece Colieolieolieolieo with Amelia and bald Uncle Ronnee (with tongue)

Sally and Me with Regular Uncle Ron

The girlies with Arlene, JenRahn, and Judy

Bald Uncle Ronnee with Amelia

The (backs of the) girlies at a cool pizza joint with the O'Mally childrens - you can't tell, but inside those O'Malleys are laughing hysterically

The first night with the new bunkbeds!

Very exciting!

2010-04-05T11:13:00.006-04:00

November 2009 with the Girlies

My 'Mom's' side of the family has a tradition going back more than 30 years where the entire family would gather in Tyler, Texas (The Rose Capital of the World) for Thanksgiving. Our family was the only one that did not live in Texas, so it was pretty convenient for everyone but us. In spite of the inconvenience, we would make the long pilgrimage from Missouri every year, usually leaving at night and arriving the first thing in the morning.

The first few years we drove during the day, but we quit doing that because Ray would get annoyed with our constant requests to be fed at least once during the 12-hour car drive and our refusal to be completely and totally silent as we were jammed into the backseat of an old Caprice. The solution, then, was to drive at night, a skill at which Ray was quite adept, except for every three or four minutes when he would have a quick nap.

Ray decided that the drive was not unpleasant enough for the passengers, so he called upon his vast network of used and damaged electronics purveyors to purchase a CB radio, a technological marvel in 1976 that Ray kept using well into early 1993. He rigged a 'squawk box' (speaker) so that it hung right by his ear and he would listen to truckers report the conditions of our nations roadways.

I have vivid memories of Ray's CB conversations with his buddy 'Mutton Chop Rob' --"Uh, breaker one-nine good buddy, you got yer ears on? I'm headin' down the double-nickel super slab and I'm about to pull the hammer back because I think I just saw a couple of boy scouts in a plain wrapper up here and I don't want to find myself in the bear cage with smokey. There's been a mess 'em up at the 116 yard stick just outside of Sugar Town and they're piling 'em in the meat wagon, so it looks like I might pull off and look for a nap trap."

This sleep-avoidance tool was quite effective, not just on Ray but also on us. The expectation was that we would sleep for the entire duration of the trip, which meant we wouldn't be able to request any form of sustenance or bladder relief, but with the 'squawk box' doing its squawking job very well, it was nearly impossible for us to fall asleep.

Eventually, though, we would make it to Texas at the crack of dawn and my wonderful grandparents would get up to let us in, always having a pallet (2. Chiefly Southern U.S. A temporary bed made from bedding arranged on the floor, especially for a child) ready for us. Our trips there were always a delight, and many of my fondest memories are of our times in Texas with my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and the occasional interloper.

We kept the tradition almost every year until the late 1990s, when families and distance started to make it difficult to get everyone together for the holiday. In 2009, though, many of us made plans to go to Houston to spend Thanksgiving with our 'Texas relatives', which of course pleased me to no end.

My eldest brother Ronnee was not able to make it, because he was attending a ‘Man-Made Global Warming is Not Fake! It’s Not! Quit Using Evidence and Proof to Discredit Us! We Have Shoddy Science and Made-Up Data to Show How Real It Is! All Those E-Mails Where We Admitted We Were Big Fat Liars And That There is No Global Warming Mean Nothing, So Go Buy Those Dangerous Stupid Curly-Q Hippy Lightbulbs!’ rally with his hippy friends in Oregon. My sister D;a;ldkjf couldn’t make it because her tub was dirty.

But Kim and I and the girlies flew to Texas the night before Thanksgiving, and the girlies were delightful on the flight. We rented a minivan (AWESOME!) and headed straight to Aunt Debbie and Uncle Drew's house. The first night was just delightful seeing aunts, uncles, and cousins, and the girlies were thrilled to meet their new baby cousin, Lou Costello.

Aint Debbie, who used to teach home economics before the women's libbers made the schools get rid of that subject and force the girls to take Industrial Arts and Metal Shop instead, cooked an amazing Thanksgiving dinner, with help from my 'Mom', Aint Carolyn, and Uncle Chuck, who brought some odd turkey smoker gizmo which had a very specific requirement that five or six people must spend many hours standing there, looking at it.

The dinner was wonderful and the girlies were having a great time with Grammy Judy, Aunt Sarah (Uncle Garf couldn't make it because he was bank in Kansas City, knitting a scarf for his poodle), and the rest of our family. I was having a great time, too, until about 7 PM, when I realized that I didn't feel particularly swell. My stomach began to hurt, I got a bit dizzy, and I could barely participate in Turkey Bowling (I still got second place, and would have won but my cousin Clare cheated). Once the trophy ceremonies were over, I told my lovely wife (Kim) that I thought it was time for me to go.

We went back to the place where we were staying, and Kim quite nicely put me to bed in the spare room so I didn't infect anyone. All this time I had a terrible feeling that my worst fears were about to be realized. I was about to ruin my streak of not having vomited (in Texas, they say ‘urped’) in nearly 25 years.

The last time I vomited was in the spring of 1985 and I have not vomited since the early stages of Ronald Reagan’s second term. Well, until this past Thanksgiving, that is, when I made up for lost time by vomiting every half-hour for 3 days straight.

So most of the pictures and videos below do not include me, because while everyone else was having the time of their lives at Uncle Drew’s lake house, I sat in a La-Z-Boy for 72 hours watching a 3-day Law and Order marathon, vomiting on a regular basis and trying very hard to eat a few saltines and drink some Gatorade without throwing up. It was miserable, except that the Law and Order episodes were mostly the ones with Jerry Orbach as Lenny Briscoe, which I am sure we can all agree are the best Law and Order episodes ever.

Here are some photographs taken in November, interspersed with some short videos that I hope you find amusing:

The girlies having a laugh with Julian in front of the Polar Bear at the Central Park Zoo

Sally in her 'Cowgirl' pajamas

Spidergirl with her eyes closed - Amelia does not subscribe to the normal societal restrictions on wearing Halloween costumes well after Halloween.

My cousin Mandy reading to the girlies. Mandy is quite insane.

Swinging

Exciting video of the girlies on the swings

My 'Mom' doing Play-Doh with the girlies

Video of the Play-Doh

Getting ready for Turkey Bowling

The girlies came in first place in the juniors division - I was not feeling too groovy at this point

Sally with Uncle Chuck at Lake Conroe

Uncle Drew giving the girlies a fishing lesson - right after this photo was taken he caught a giant carp (or sunfish)

Uncle Drew with the girlies

Four photos of the girlies back home, goofing around in their car seats - I was going to include just one of these pictures, but I think I forgot to delete the other ones or something.

2010-04-05T09:11:00.000-04:00

September/October with the Girlies

By the time September rolled around the girlies were all geared up to start preschool. I had spent weeks grilling them on verb conjugation and their times tables so that they would be ready for the competitive world of New York City preschools, but decided to back off because I didn't want to put pressure on them to succeed like my parents did to me when I was a young lad.

You see, when I was young I was generally thought to be a handsome, smart, well-behaved child of excellent breeding. My parents, especially my father 'Lee', would spend hours each day (when he wasn't out picking up broads) helping me study music, Latin, history, and the social sciences, in the hopes that I would use my advanced intelligence and physical gifts to make the world a better place. Either that, or become an NFL placekicker.

When it came time for me to enter preschool, my brother and sister (Ron and D;al;dfj) were already in real school at Dressell Elementary (named after Friedrich M. Dressell, well-known Amish craftsman and the inventor of Bisquick). They got to ride a bus and hang out with Ed Mitchell and Karen Kaiser, while I had to spend every day at Mrs. Adams house, where I would listen to the Partridge Family all day and plot my escape (or revenge, depending upon the circumstances of the day).

I was eager to begin school, largely so I wouldn't have to listen to 'I'll meet you halfway (That's better than no way)' over and over again, so when I turned 4 my 'Mom' thought it would be a good idea to completely deceive me into thinking that I was going to real school and not some place with mean old ladies who yelled at me all the time and made me eat food that smelled like fermented poultry byproducts.

On the first day, my 'Mom' said "Hurry up, the 'bus' is coming to take you to 'school'" (she actually used 'finger quotes') as if I was a complete buffoon who didn't know the difference between a bus and a white Plymouth Belvedere driven by a lady in a housecoat and curlers. When the fake bus pulled up, my 'Mom' said 'Hey look, the 'bus' is here'!, which was clearly not true. How stupid did she think I was?

I looked out the window and said 'Where? Where is the bus? I don't see a bus! All I see is a white Plymouth driven by a lady in a housecoat and curlers. Do you think I don't know what a bus looks like? Come on! I'm four, but I'm not a complete doofus. A bus is yellow and big, and while it probably would be driven by a lady in a housecoat and curlers, it certainly would not look like a rusty two-door sedan. I'm not going until an actual bus shows up to take me to school. Ron gets to ride a bus, D;al;sdjk gets to ride a bus - I want to ride a bus, not some stupid ugly 2-door Plymouth.'

Well, my Mom laughed and laughed and said 'Why, you little scamp - your recalcitrance is so refreshing it fills me with happiness and joy.' Actually, now that I think about it that is probably not what she said - more likely she repeated some words normally associated with men who have served in the Navy, (my Mom never served in the military but seemed to be familiar and comfortable with their profanities) and to my astonishment and against my expressed wishes I soon found myself in the back seat of a hot, smelly car sitting next to some booger eating moron.

My preschool was the Montessori school on Lindbergh in St. Louis - their motto was 'A warm and nurturing environment for young children, using techniques developed in the leading prisons and mental institutions of Eastern Europe'. Each day I would show up and begin the process of learning, knowing that I had to work hard to achieve my full potential.

Of course, ten minutes later I would start to get nervous thinking about what nasty filth they were going to force down my throat for 'lunch', and so instead of focusing on my advanced trigonometry or the song we were supposed to be singing (Here is a story of Michael Finnegan, He has whiskers on his chinnegan - even at that age I realized there was no such thing as a 'chinnegan'. Geez, did everyone think I was a complete huckleberry?) I would start to develop my scheme to avoid ingesting the filthy lunch they had planned for me.

In those days I was quite a picky eater (I have always preferred the term 'fussy') and I didn't like (still don't) most things that other people view as actual food. People say that makes me a big pain the, uh, neck, but in fact it is just the opposite - all I need is some turkey, wheat bread, maybe the occasional cheeseburger or a slice of pizza, and I'm perfectly happy. See? No hassle at all.

My typical approach to avoid actually eating the nasty lunch served by these nefarious evil-doers was to sort of hunch over and hide my plate from the teacher, move the nastiness around my plate so it looked like I had eaten something, and then when all the other kids got up to put their plates away I would hang back towards the end of the line and rapidly, stealthily put my plate underneath the plate of little Suzy or that stinky kid Ralph, thereby avoiding detection and surviving for another day.

This approach worked for a few weeks, but even I, with all my gifts and talents, didn't anticipate pea soup day. In 1970 pea soup was something people actually fed children - in those days it was not reserved exclusively for hogs and prisoners, but then again it was a simpler, less enlightened time - and one day, just as you would expect from these types of people, they served us (me) pea soup.

I instantly realized that my normal techniques would not work this time. First of all it was soup, which removed the viability of my 'move it all around' approach. Second, it was in a bowl and not on a plate, so my 'secretly stick my plate on the bottom' approach was not an option. Desperate times call for desperate measures, though, and so I did the only thing I could do in this situation. As I inhaled the vile stench of the hideous entree made out of what seemed to be cigar butts in a gallstone sauce, I jammed my spoon onto the side of the bowl with all of my strength and the bowl flipped in the air, spilling the nasty gruel everywhere.

By the way, my 'Mom' claims that I actually put the bowl on my head, which would have been funny of course, but clearly not something I would have done. - some of the gross pea mixture might have accidentally made its way into my nose and mouth, which would have made made my entire plan a colossal failure instead of a resounding success. So if you ask her aboot she will insist that I put it on my head, but you and I both know that is not the real story.

I was entirely and completely pleased with my display of independence and rebellion, although my heavy-set, strongly accented 'teacher' did not share my joy. She strolled over to me and began wagging her finger in my face - she wore a large skirt that could also have served as a lean-to if she ever found herself lost in the woods and in need of shelter. Her shirt was a dingy cream-colored blouse (it may have been white at some point in the distant past) with very short sleeves. As she pointed and screamed at me in an unfamiliar, unpleasant sounding Slavic language, I couldn't help noticing her upper arm flab bouncing and recoiling in every conceivable direction, back and forth, up and down, occasionally even in concentric circles of flab, not unlike when a pebble is thrown into the lake. It was hideous, and yet I could not look away.

As she carried on with her indecipherable yapping I started to giggle, which was not the reaction she expected or hoped for. I don't recall exactly what happened next, but seemingly within seconds my 'Mom' showed up (I think my Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Rodney showed up as well. They lived in sunny Tyler, Texas but were in St. Louis to visit us and do some vigorous hiking) and I was whisked away from the institution, never to return. I still have very fond memories of this early childhood educational experience, as you can clearly tell.

And now, 39 years later it was time for my girlies to start preschool, and they eat all kinds of food (I am guessing they would even eat pea soup, although I would never feed such yucky stuff to my darling girlies!) so I didn't have to worry aboot them reenacting my shenanigans. They love their school and their teachers, although I don't think they have learned the Michael Finnegan song - maybe I will teach it to them tonight.

In October we went upstate to visit our friend, leading New York physician Eric and his delightful twin daughters (Eric's wife works for the Wall Street Journal and she couldn't be there because she was busy blowing the lid off of some major scandal involving graft, corruption and kickbacks - it may have been something about Nancy Pelosi taking bribes to pay for her repeated and extensive facial tightening, but I am not certain about that). We went to an orchard where we picked apples, fed various farm animals, and took the girlies on their first hayride. We also walked through a corn maze, which pleased Kim to no end while at the same time also shamed her two brothers for their attempts to mock her many years before (a hilarious story but not one that can be repeated here, due to contractual restrictions).

Below are some photos and short videos, and when I say 'some' I really mean way too many. Sorry there are so many - if I cared about you, the home viewer, I might try to edit this down a bit, but the reality is that I don't really care so much. If you don't want to look at all of these pictures and videos, no one is going to stop you.

Please enjoy.

Amelia with her collage of photos and stuff. I think the school asked us to do that but I can't remember why. There was probably a good reason, though.

Sally's face covered up by her pink blanket, along with her collage and my wrist.

The girlies with Mimi.

Kim and the girlies in front of our apartment on the way to preschool!

The girlies and my lovely wife in front of the preschool. Amelia learned that face from me, and of course I couldn't be more proud.

Sally and Kim at school.

Upstate at a farm, getting ready to feed a calf.

Feeding the calf (now, on video)

On a hayride with the girlies and my beautiful wife. The girls have never been happier, as you can clearly tell.

They seem a bit happier in the video

In the corn maze. Kim's brothers better just keep their yaps shut from now on.

Kim's Vindication

Getting ready to pick some apples

Sitting on pumpkins (these captions are getting quite dull - I am sure you could tell on your own that the girls are sitting on pumpkins without me pointing it out)

Walking through stacks of hay bales

Amelia in her Spider-Girl costume and her groovy shades

Peanuts and Jello

More Peanuts and Jello

Ode to Joy (with alternative 'Peanuts and Jello' lyrics)

At a Halloween party - Sally is wearing her Spiderman yarmulke

Pop goes the pumpkin

"That's Scary"

At a school event in their Chinese dresses. Sally is not a big fan of being photographed, so I love it when we get one of her with a cute smile.

The girlies with Miss Liz. Again, Amelia is thrilled!

The girlies with Marty, DeYan's father. Marty is cooler than you for at least three reasons: 1). His hair, which is just spectacular; 2). One of his childhood best friends was George Carlin; 3). One of his childhood best friends was George Carlin (that one counts twice). DeYan's Mom used to date Bobby Orr (presumably before she met Marty, although who am I to judge?), which also makes her cooler than you.

Amelia with our neighbor Maria at the school event (if I could remember I would tell you what the school event was. It might have been International Day or something, but that doesn't make too much sense, because it is called the International Preschool, so I would think every day could be considered International Day.)

2009-10-14T11:29:00.000-04:00

August 2009 with the Girlies - Aunt Pam and New and Improved Gary at the Jersey Shore

So after my sister and Uncle Garf left, we headed down to Bay Head, New Jersey to stay at Julian's vacation house, as the girls call it. Kim's sister Pam and her husband, New and Improved Gary, came to spend about 5 days with the girlies and enjoy the beach.

Pam is delightful and she and Gary are very happy together - I was actually only there for a couple of days because I had to go back and work for the Germans, but Kim stayed down the girlies for the entire week and they had a great time.

Now please enjoy some photographs:

Aunt Pam with the girlies at Julian's vacation house

Pam gave the girlies their first pedicure - she wanted to charge an extra $10 for a 10-minute foot massage but the girlies had a coupon

Painted feet and the New York Post

Playing with umbrellas - a regular occurrence

Aunt Pam squeezed between the girlies car seats - Kim is getting a new car next month that has almost 3 more cubic inches of space, so we are very excited. Plus, it's a hybrid, which ought to shut the dirty hippies up for a while.

Pam and Uncle New and Improved Gary at the Point Pleasant Boardwalk

Pam and Amelia on the Carousel

The Bay Head Beach

Me with Sally in the Ocean

At the Lakeville Blue Claws Game - Pam has a very nice smile

Amelia singing very cutely - this is a song called 'Taxi' from their music class this summer. It is a very New York-y song about city kids hailing a taxi - hence the name (one of my father's later wives, the vile and wretched Sandy, used to use the word 'hence' a lot, although she usually used it incorrectly. She would say "That's germs on the shower curtain. Hence, you should clean it." Or "The salt shaker should be placed exactly in the center of the table and never moved, even if you need to use the salt. It is not to be moved and it must stay exactly where it is at all times, even in the event of a cataclysmic natural disaster. Hence, I am a despicable moron." Well, she probably didn't say that last bit, but that's how it sounded to me). The girlies sing this song all the time and usually come up with alternative lyrics, as is the case here when Amelia decides to sing about Mac and Cheese halfway through.

Now Sally's turn

Kim having a chat about pizza and counting with the girlies on the deck at Gene and Stacie's house in Bay Head. One of my favorite things in the world is that when Sally counts she says "One, Two, Pree, Pour, Pive!" I don't want her to ever grow out of that because it is so delightful.

2009-10-14T11:22:00.003-04:00

August 2009 with the Girlies - Sarah and Uncle 'Garf' in Town

August was a big month for us - my darling younger sister Sarah came in town with her husband, whose name starts with a 'G' but I can never remember exactly what it is. I think it is Glen or Gregory (my other sister D;laslkjd thinks his name might be Geronimo, but I don't think that is right), but because it is so hard to remember we all just decided to call him Garth. Sarah and Garth went to some dances together in high school but then he graduated and went off to seek his fortune as a horseman, while Sarah stayed in high school, starred in all of the high school dramatic and musical productions, and befriended a weird looking red-headed kid.

Years later Sarah and Garth reconnected while bumping into each other at the 'Things Remembered' kiosk at the mall - Sarah, as she often did in the afternoons, was browsing the engraved heart necklaces with the keepsake box, and Garth was wandering by on his way to the Hickory Farms store to enjoy some of their delicious summer sausage. They struck up a conversation, compared their various tattoos, and decided to get married.

My other siblings and I were very skeptical because we still weren't certain that we could remember his actual name, but more importantly because Sarah was our beloved younger sister and we had to be convinced that he was truly the right one for her. We subjected him to various tests and trials, including one where he had to throw a kettle over a pub, and he scored well, making it clear that Sarah was the love of his life. Once we were certain, we let the word go forth from this time and place that Sarah and Garth were to be married.

Then, they decided to come to New York to see us and the girlies. The girlies immediately liked Garth and, because they are three years old and cute, they decided that he would henceforth and forever more be known as 'Uncle Garf'. My heart was warmed by this development.

It turns out that other than the walk across the bridge, we didn't get too many photos of Sarah and Garth in NY. They were here for a week but for some reason we didn't take too many photos. I blame the Germans. Below are some photos of their visit and some other things too probably. You will also notice that there are more photos of Amelia than Sally - I don't know why.

Sarah and Uncle Garf reading a book to the girlies - Amelia liked Garth right away

At Grimaldi's Pizza in Brooklyn, before walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and stuff

What a lovely couple

Sarah and Uncle Garf with the girlies under the bridge

Garth loves skulls, which scares me

Amelia on the Brooklyn Bridge

Amelia's First Haircut!

Amelia's First Haircut

What's cuter than that?

A video of Amelia dancing to Chinese songs - we have a tutor that comes over to teach Mandarin and we put some music on. Amelia felt the uncontrollable urge to dance.

Crazy Swinging!

2009-10-14T10:52:00.001-04:00

July 2009 with the Girlies

In July we did a bunch of stuff. It was fun. Below are pictures and videos.

Me with the girlies at the new High Line park in New York.

Amelia in her panda shirt and University of Missouri hat (from Natalie, who goes to college!) Helping with the laundry

Sally at soccer - her favorite part was 'observing'. She is wearing her cool Barcelona soccer shirt.

Amelia also wearing a cool Barcelona soccer shirt.

Soccer Class

Amelia at soccer class

The girlies watching other kids play soccer.

Amelia wearing #14 - Kim's number. And as far as you know, the 'Henry' on her shirt is a tribute to my grandpa, Henry 'Bud' Koelling. Sally's shirt says 'Dot'.

Mimi with the girlies in the park

2009-09-25T10:43:00.024-04:00

June 2009 with the Girlies - Barcelona

One of the benefits of Kim working in her line of business is that she gets to work with amazing people who are doing tremendous things to, you know, fix the world and stuff. I would like to fix the world, but there are a lot of problems out there, like hunger and malaria and pestilence and Rosie O'Donnell and high tax rates and traffic and cancer and Reba McEntire and murdering thugs getting positions of prominence at the United Nations and people who slowly glide and wander side-to-side down the sidewalk instead of walking in a straight line so I can get by.

There is a lot to fix and there is no way that I could do it all, so I have decided that instead of trying to solve all of the world's problems, which clearly would be very difficult, I will focus my attention on convincing bankers to buy software and then going home to see the girlies, drink wine and watch the Cardinals. I can't do anything about Barbara Streisand or the continuing scourge known as global cooling, but I do let women and the old get on the bus before I do, which is a truly benevolent gesture because even though I am being the nice one here I get punished because most people stop on the first step and then search through their purse or pocket to find their Metro Card, while I stand outside the bus in the rain (well, if it's raining) while they fumble around and waste my time.

One way to make the world a better place would be for women and the old (sorry for the stereotype, but it is always women or the old -- non-old men seem to have no problem getting in rapidly and with great efficiency) to step all the way up the stairs to let me on so I don't get rained on, and then begin the fumbling process to locate your Metro Card. But I continue to allow people to get on first, because I try to do my part to improve the lives of others. I also hold the door when I get off the bus in the back, even if there are a bunch of people and I have to stand there for a while, because sometimes it slams shut with no notice and I figure that holding the door makes the world a little bit better for someone else, and also this frees me up morally so I don't have to worry as much about the continuing threat of terrorism or hygiene problems among our nation's hippies.

But Kim works in HIV, and contrary to what the Germans would have you believe, her company and others like it are doing amazing things to develop drugs that make HIV a treatable condition instead of a death sentence. They also focus on helping people in less-developed parts of the world gain access to life-saving drugs, which is having a huge impact on millions of people in places like western and southern Africa.

So what does this have to do with me and the girlies? Well, the person at Kim's company responsible for the program that provides HIV treatment and care for people in sub-Saharan Africa, invited us to spend a week with his friends and family in Barcelona. Of course we accepted his invitation (and that was a very long introduction to how we ended up going to Spain).

Coincidentally, John and his wife Barbara also have delightful twins (Samantha and Jamie) from China, although they are two years older than Sally and Amelia. A few years ago, before we found out that we were getting twins, we met their girls. After meeting Samantha and Jamie, Kim (being a bit superstitious) thought that we were destined to get twins. She also has a story about a double-yolked egg and fused fortune cookies.

So back to Spain - Barbara had an upcoming birthday and John rented an amazing villa outside of Barcelona for his family and several of their friends. They were kind enough to invite us along. We had a fantastic time, and our girlies had great fun swimming in the pool(s) and playing with Samantha and Jamie.

Here are some photos and videos of our journey:

The girlies cleaning the window in the Continental Lounge.

A video of that exact thing

The handsome family in the Park Guell in Barcelona

John and Samantha at the Park Guell

Eating popsicles (the Brits call them 'ice-lollies') in the Park Ciutadella

Barbara with Jamie lounging at the villa

Amelia in an enormous hat

Amelia, Sally, Samantha and Jamie looking at fishies

Looking down at Barcelona from Mont Juic, where the 1992 Olympics were held

At the Olympic Stadium where Russian Igor Astapkovich won a silver medal in the Hammer Throw!

Kim and Amelia on the roof of the Casa Mila

Sally making her father very proud, inside the Casa Mila

At Sitges Beach, outside of Barcelona

Mmmm, fudgesicles

A video of that exact thing

Sally and Mike S on the beach -I forgot my swimsuit and had to go buy one at the store. I didn't look that closely and it turns out that they are ridiculously short, like Larry Bird's basketball shorts in the 1980s. These are not those swim trunks, though - these are cargo shorts, although I am sure you could tell that.

2009-09-25T10:36:00.010-04:00

June with the Girlies - Grammy Judy in Town

After Grandma Linny and Aunt Mikey left, my dear mother came to visit, also to celebrate the girlies' third birthday. For some reason we don't have many pictures of her time here, however. My mom is notoriously camera shy, largely because of fervent religious beliefs developed while spending her teenage years among the Quakers, but I thought we got more pictures of her trip than we did.

Oh well - here are a few photos and stuff:

Expert soup maker and wine purveyor Maria (she's Italian!) with Sally

Kim and the girlies enjoying a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity

Kim and the girlies in the Sony Building - not the best picture in the world, but it's cool because Spiderman is in the background

Finally, a picture of Judy with the girlies. Again, not a great picture - our camera was acting up and we had to get a new one

At the girlies birthday party - DeYan is making a crazy face, which I would never do, of course

My 'Mom' with Maria

Kim and Judy in front of our building with the girlies

Amelia in her tutu (Kim is so happy because she has dreams that the girls will grow up to be beautiful ballerinas) and Judy taking photos

DeYan came over before her big prom and the girlies came outside in their tutus

Sally, her tutu, and baby Ada

Sally in her tutu, waiting for DeYan

2009-09-25T10:03:00.006-04:00

June 2009 with the Girlies -
Grandma Linny and Aunt Mikey in New York

Ahhh, June. June Cleaver. Junebug. Juneteenth. Juneau. June Carter Cash. June Allyson. June is Dairy Month. Former Atlanta Falcons quarterback June Jones III. June Lockhart. June Taylor's Organic Marmalades. These are the things that come up when you type the word 'June' into Google.

For me June reminds me of my teenage years, when school was finally out and we had total, complete freedom. My parents both worked - my 'Mom' was a claims adjuster at Allstate, and she has many, many stories about money-hungry old ladies who purposely slip on grapes at Schnuck's and break their hips so they can sue for hundreds of dollars to compensate for their pain and suffering. My mom was a tough cookie, though, and the most she would offer them would be $50 and a one-way bus ticket to Fort Hancock, Texas if they promised never to bother her again. "Greedy old bags!", she used to say a few dozen times a day.

The most common scenario was often quite similar to this: "So, I had this claim today that you would not believe. This 96-year old woman had the AUDACITY to sue Schnuck's even though the spilled vegetable oil on the floor was clearly visible to anyone who would have been wearing their glaucoma glasses. So am I supposed to give some of Allstate's hard earned money to this greedy old schemer to fix her broken tibia and replace her shattered kneecap because she didn't think to look down at the floor and check for spilled Wesson before heading down the frozen food aisle? Hah! I don't think so. For all I know, she didn't even push the front legs of her walker firmly into the tennis balls to ensure proper gliding, so she has to share some of the responsibility here. Go try and pull your massive scam on some other stooge, granny!"

Anyway, both parents worked (well, Ray worked but, you know, not all the time, and not for any one particular company, but he was usually gone during the day) so I could sleep late, not waking up until my friend Terry would come over and break in through our back door to wake me up so we could go to the pool with Missy Hanover and listen to Rapper's Delight.

I don't have any pictures of my free-wheeling teenage years (I had lots of hair back then, and it was as white as the driven snow) but I do have some photos of our many activities this past June with the girlies (I now have 'Now what you hear is not a test -- I'm rappin to the beat -- And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet ' running through my head).

June was a very eventful month for us - both grandmothers came to town, the girlies turned 3 (!), and we went to Spain to celebrate our friend's birthday. Below are photos of Kim's mom and the always delightful Aunt Mikey, who came to New York to spend time with the girlies and celebrate their third birthday.

Please enjoy these, won't you?

The girlies singing and dancing before bed

The girlies singing their ABCs

Grandma Linny with Sally at the park

Grandma Linny with Amelia at the park

Amelia and Grandma Linny on the park bench

The girlies with Grandma Linny and Aunt Mikey on the slide

On a carriage ride in Central Park - this video was made using the new 'Shake-a-Vision' technology you have heard so much about

On the Staten Island Ferry, looking at the Statue of Liberty (out the window on the right)

Isn't that cute?

Kim with Sally on the Carousel during the girlies birthday party The Rev. Laura Jervis with Amelia and Sally on the Carousel (Sally doesn't like riding by herself, as you can see) This one is pretty self-explanatory
See above

2009-07-25T22:27:00.003-04:00

April - May with the Girlies

April and May were quite enjoyable, probably - the weather was most likely getting nicer and Kim's brother, 'Steve', came to NY with his wife (often referred to as 'Rhonda') and their youngest lad Cameron. Cameron was recently identified by the Federal Bureau of Pizza Enjoyment (your stimulus dollars at work) as the only teenage boy in the western hemisphere who doesn't like pizza. I like pizza, although I don't like a lot of gross junk on there - just some pepperoni, maybe some sausage, and that's really all you need. Kim likes weird stuff on pizza like vegetables and cheeses from other countries.

By the way, we went to Pizzeria Uno the other day - we have lived in this neighborhood for 11 years and had never been there, but it seemed like a good place to go with the girlies and their friend Sophia. I have to tell you - Pizzeria Uno was quite good. I am a big fan of Chicago deep-dish pizza, although our friend Kirsten (who lives in Chicago) prefers Little Caesers or something equally nasty. Anyway, it was good, and very convenient since we have kids and stuff. I got pepperoni, while Kim got some odd pizza with gooseberry, vegemite and beets.

I don't really have anything funny to say about April and May - around this time I started interviewing for the job that I eventually took with the Germans, but other than that I found myself getting especially (I sometimes spell it 'expecially') good at laundry, able to knock out 6 loads in an afternoon, and while my skills at laundry do not include folding or putting away, I am probably the best that I know about when it comes to the laundering process itself.

Also, I probably saw some movies or occupied my time doing something, but I can't remember what that might have been. The girlies were delightful, though, and we had a lot of fun doing whatever we were doing in the afternoons after their naps. I can't remember what was, though, but I am sure it was fun and cute and inspired me to make a promise to myself to remember each and every detail of whatever it was that we did.

I am sure that these were happy days, the salad days as they say, but I can't be certain because I can't really remember.

Anyway, here are photos and videos below. Feel free to enjoy them, but put them back when you are done.

This is what Sally would look like if she were a hippy artist

Sally blowing bubbles

Cameron with his cousins waiting under the Brooklyn Bridge (Brooklyn is the setting for the 1970s comedy program 'Welcome Back Kotter')

Sally blowing bubbles under the Brooklyn Bridge

The girlies with the Hodges family looking across the East River

Cameron with Sally and Amelia's left eyeball on the Brooklyn Bridge, next to some tubby bicyclist who thinks he owns the place - 'Hey, back off fat Pete LeMond - I got toddlers here!'

With the girlies walking across the Brooklyn Bridge

Cameron with Amelia on the Staten Island Ferry

Steve and Rhonda, apparently repelling Sally with their Minnesota charm

Sally, Amelia, and their friend Sophia at the Bristol-Myers Squibb AIDS Walk Event at the Central Park Zoo

DeYan with Sally at the AIDS Walk

DeYan with Amelia and Amelia's radioactive eyeballs (that's the second 'Amelia eyeball' mention, in case you are counting)

Sally loves cake

Amelia going down the big marble slide in Central Park

Mike and Sally going down the slide

Hunting for Easter Eggs and stuff

Amelia with her what appears to be her 'Easter Basket' but might also be the contents of our junk drawer

Sally in her Easter dress

2009-07-24T22:26:00.005-04:00

Special Bonus Video of the Girlies

For some reason this video got overlooked when I wrote about our recent winter activities with the girlies, but this is worth watching if you have some time and like watching green singing toddlers.

On Christmas night we drove to Jenny's house from Connie and Lloyd's, and Amelia was in a singing mood. Kim cranked up the futuristic night vision on the camera and got almost 5 minutes of cuteness to the tune of 'London Bridge is Falling Down'. Adding to the delightfulness of this video is that she is essentially singing whatever words happen to pop into her head, and Sally tries to join in a on a few occasions but realizes that she too has no idea what in the world Amelia is saying.

I hope you all enjoy this video. So, enjoy.

P.S. - This will make the blog when I finally get around to posting August junk, but in the meantime click this to see Amelia (Schnikey she is cute!) dancing as we played some music during our Chinese lesson. The woman in the video is Moying, our Chinese tutor ('lao she' in Chinese - see, I am learning something. Turkey in Chinese is 'huo ji', or 'Fire Chicken'. Isn't learning fun?)

2009-07-24T22:25:00.003-04:00

March 2009 with the Girlies

In March my lovely and talented wife Kim had a major birthday, and as you all know she looks as beautiful as she did when I first met her. My plan for the big event (before the dirty Swiss and their stupid little army knife encouraged me stay home more often) was to rent a huge house in St. John and invite all of our friends and family to join us in celebrating her birthday. However, thanks to Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, and the anticipation of the certain failure of the ridiculous 'Cash for Clunkers' program, the economy tanked, my company made plans to abandon the US market, and most of our relatives and friends decided that a week in St. John in the midst of the greatest economic downturn since the late 1970s was probably not a great idea. That was a very long, disorganized, and confusing sentence.

So I tried to come up with something unique - a surprise party would have been too difficult, considering that both of our families selfishly refuse to move to NY to be nearer to us and the lovely girlies. Then I thought we could do a quick weekend away with just the two of us or with a few friends, maybe to Paris (home of Parisians), but Kim subtly (not subtly) let me know that whatever we did for her birthday should include and involve the girlies. Sally loves crepes and doesn't like to take a bath so I am sure she would have enjoyed Paris, but in the end I decided that was not a good option.

I also found that a crashing economy is really bad for owners of fancy vacation homes, so I turned back to St. John and found a very lovely place to rent for a reasonable fee. I knew most people would not be able to come, but fortunately I was able to convince several very important and good-looking people to postpone saving for college and retirement and use that money instead to celebrate the birth of my lovely wife.

It was a great trip, and a big surprise for Kim, as she had no idea that anyone was joining us. She sort of figured out where we were going but didn't know that others were joining us, so she was shocked when she saw Stacie Corcoran at 7 in the morning, her sister Jenny at the St. Thomas airport, and Stacy B and her charming mother in St. John.

The girlies had a wonderful time, as our house had a pool, a rooster, a few lizards (my sister D;alkjds's brother-in-law Tony thinks that chickens are actually just big lizards), and a huge bedroom with two fancy cribs.

Below are some photos, videos, and musings on my long-faded handsomeness:

Kim and the girlies at Starbucks at the beautiful Newark Airport - Did you know that drinking coffee gives you breath like my 8th grade speech teacher Mr. Hill?

The girlies at the airport

On the tarmac in St. Thomas - this video was taken only seconds before I was tackled to the ground by Department of Transportation thugs and questioned for hours about the extent of my airport video cassette taping activities

The four of us in front of our vacation house

Stacie Corcoran eating popcorn out of a Budweiser box, while Jenny enjoys a frosty cold Stella

Stacie and Sally (both looking cute), with some dork

For some reason I am making the stupidest face in the world, which is unfortunate because the girlies and my lovely wife all look beautiful. But I look like a huge knucklehead. I used to be the cutest boy in the 4th grade but those days are long gone.

Sally and Amelia with me on the beach, right before the iguana situation. I don't look so bad in this picture, probably because I have sunglasses on.

The girlies on the beach

A huge iguana crawled under Sally's chair

Exciting Lizard Video

Sally in her groovy sunglasses on the beach

Amelia playing in the sand

As the song lyrics say "More beauty in this world, I swear I've never seen"

Jenny and Amelia in Coral Bay

The girlies by the pool, with Kim's shinbones

Sally taking a snooze with her new goggles

Kim and Stacie with the girls, waiting for me to get our rental car battery fixed (a long story that involved me getting threatened by an angry dude because I mistakenly parked in a taxi zone. Not as interesting as the time I got choked in the Barnes and Noble, though.)

Stacy Bielema-O'Malley, with her Mom. Stacy got up with the girls each morning so Kim and I could sleep in like we used to do back when I was in my late 30s.

On our way to get sandwiches for the beach. In mandarin, 'sandwich' is pronounced 'san-ming-zhuh'

Every night I got to go home with the girlies while the broads, er, uh, I mean the ladies stayed out late and caroused with young surfer dudes. Here they are at Woody's, a famous joint in St. John.

2009-07-23T22:24:00.002-04:00

January - February 2009 with the Girlies

January and February were relatively uneventful, except for some visits from family and some good snow. I can't really remember that far back, but from what I can recall it mostly involved me trying unsuccessfully to convince people to give me a cushy job with a bloated salary, and then me trying to figure out what to do with the girlies at 4 PM, once they woke up from their nap. It is pitch black in NY in January by about 4:00, so my options were mostly limited to either teaching the girlies to become burglars or getting them part-time employment as night-watchmen. Neither seemed like a good option, so we would pretty much wander the neighborhood to find the moon and stars, and then sing 'Mr. Moon' a few times (see below).

My Mom visited in January while Kim was away at a 'business meeting'. The girlies love having my Mom here, but the best part is that she scrubs things that I didn't even know you were supposed to clean, like the girlies high chairs and couch cushions.

We also had my (Texas) Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew visit us for a weekend in February. Uncle Drew, as followers of this blog may recall, used to tell us stories about Sam and George and Sally and Sue when we were young kids and now one of my girlies (Sally) is named 'Sally'. I also have a cousin named 'Sam', a friend from high school named 'Sue', and I once met 'George' H.W. Bush (the older one) at an IBM conference, so in may ways Uncle Drew correctly predicted my life. He could have given me a heads-up about the dirty Swiss, though.

My Aint Debbie loves to get organized and stuff, and as mentioned in a previous posting she doesn't mind giving a few knuckle sandwiches if the situation warrants, so we are always on guard when she is around. Uncle Drew, who is a hugely powerful executive with a multi-national conglomerate, had a meeting in Jersey City (LUCKY!) and decided to visit us and make a weekend out of it. Aint Debbie was afraid she would miss an opportunity to do karaoke, so she decided to come as well.

Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew have a relatively new baby British grandson named 'Caleb', who seems to spend most of his days listening to his mother say 'Kisses Kisses...Kisses Kisses...Kisses Kisses...Kisses Kisses....' Fortunately he can't speak yet, or else he would probably say something like "Hey, Mom - holy schnikey, can you please zip it? You are driving me nuts with this 'Kisses Kisses' stuff. Now I'm hungry - pass the Bubble and Squeak" (because, you know, he's British).

On to the photos and video recordings:

My 'Mom' and Sally

Judy reading a book to Sally and Amelia. Amelia is doing her best 'Judy' imitation, covering her face and saying 'Put that thing away! Ugh Ugh! Stop taking pictures!' She later taught Amelia how to deploy the very effective crossed-fingers approach to avoid being photographed. The book she is reading to the girlies is called 'Umbrella' (Amelia LOVES umbrellas), about a 3-year girl who gets an umbrella for her birthday. When they got to the part in the book when it starts raining, the girls were laughing harder than they had ever laughed before. It was very cute, and I tried to get it on video but missed my chance. Trust me, though, it was very charming.

Judy with the girlies in the jackets she bought them at the Pearl River Mart, on the stools she bought them for Christmas

The girlies watching Mandy, Abbey and Trey (Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew's childrens) sing 'Mr. Moon.' Uncle Drew used to sing 'You Are My Sunshine' and 'Mr. Moon' with his kids when they were young, and so they made some videos of them singing the songs for our girlies. This story may not translate, but I will tell it anyway - when recording this song, the Walker childrens started to sing 'Your Are My Sunshine' but then realized that they were supposed to sing 'Mr. Moon', so they start over mid-video. The girlies think that is the funniest thing ever, so now every time they watch it (which is often) they laugh and scream 'They messed up!!' - Sally points it out in this video above. See, I told you that it wouldn't really translate, but once I started typing I realized I was so far into the story that I had nowhere to go. Sort of like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.

Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew in front of our building

As you can see by these two pictures, Amelia hardly left Uncle Drew's shoulders the whole weekend.

Amelia and Uncle Drew spent 45 minutes laughing about granola. To this day, when I say 'granola' to Amelia she has a huge laugh.

Aint Debbie reading to Sally - she also taught her how to make crescent rolls from scratch

At some point during this weekend, Sally decided that the sunglasses, hat and plastic apron would be permanent

Aint Debbie with the girlies at the Natural History Museum - Sally is still sporting the plastic apron

Sally and Amelia running down the slippery floor at the Natural History Museum - the plastic apron remains

Playing with home-made 'Play-Doh'. Aint Debbie is now working on a home-made version of 'Kerplunk'

We begged and begged, and they FINALLY agreed to have a glass of wine. This was after the dancing started, so this was most likely not the first glass of the evening

Sally and Amelia at their first movie - it was a 3-D movie about the ocean. The movie was pretty good, and the girlies were interested for most of it, but I doubt they are ready to sit through the ridiculously long 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy any time soon

Kim and Sally walking to the park to go sledding.

Kim and the girlies after a treacherous ride down the mountain (small hill) in Central Park

2009-07-21T21:21:00.003-04:00

November - December with the Girlies

November and December were good fun - we spent Thanksgiving in New York, which means that we got to see a giant Underdog float down Central Park West, and this year we had the extra treat of having our friend Chris Parkin and his lovely 'female companion' Emma came over from London to spend a traditional American Thanksgiving with us. Chris is from New Zealand and Emma is a Brit, so they celebrate Thanksgiving on July 1st (Canada Day), but they were quite eager to see the Phineas J. Whoopie float and enjoy some home cooked (from Balducci's) turkey, stuffing, and potatoes.

In December, among other things, we decorated a tree and visited Santa Claus at Bloomingdale's, which was so cute that it made me kind of weep a bit. Below are some photos and delightful videos:

The girlies standing in front of the Polar Bear Zone at the Central Park Zoo - the Polar Bears are named 'Gus' and 'Ida', which sound like an old German couple who enjoy bowling and Sauerbraten. Hey, do you know what there are more of now than there ever has been in the entire history of the world? Polar Bears. Take that, hippies!

The girlies riding on the Merry-Go-Round

The girlies swinging while Kim throws objects at them

Amelia at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Amelia just saw the 'Simon Bar Sinister' float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Sally at the Thanksgiving Parade with Kermit the Frog

The girlies are cooler than Jack Nicholson (and Belzer) - I once accidentally insulted Belzer for wearing sunglasses at the Law and Order: SVU premiere party in our building. A few months later I saw him on the street, and he looked right at me and said 'Hey, how are you?' like he recognized but couldn't figure out from where.

Our Kiwi friend Chris Parkin and the lovely Emma (and the equally lovely me) with the girlies at Bethesda Fountain. The Fountain was empty, as you can tell. Usually it contains 71% water, 6% leaves, and 23% dog urine.

Chris Parkin and Amelia getting ready to run around the fountain.

Chris and Mike with the girlies in the fountain, with some doofus trying feverishly to prevent any sun from getting to the back of his neck. Plus, I am guessing he (erroneously) thinks it looks cool.

Emma and Amelia, enjoying some delicious tasting Cheerios. In England, Cheerio usually means 'Goodbye', so in order to avoid confusion they call Cheerios 'Fester Pudding'. Raisin Bran is known as 'Whack-a-Doodle Johnson', and the traditional favorite for afternoon tea is 'Tonsil and Toast'. Those Brits sure know how to eat!

The girlies and Kim with our delightful friend Ina.

Sally with Maria's parents Nonna and Nonna (for those of you without neighbors from Italy, those words mean 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa' in German)

Sally is very excited to get her picture taken at the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree

Sally and Amelia (and Amelia's crazy eyes) with Santa Claus

In their Christmas outfits - Sally is trying to give Amelia a kiss, but Amelia is using the very effective 'hand in front of the mouth" kiss-avoidance technique first developed in the 19th Century

The girlies donating to the Salvation Army. We are teaching the girlies that they need to help others and consider themselves fortunate for what they have, and to donate generously to charities. My favorite charity - the 'Sally and Amelia College Fund'. Now accepting generous contributions.

Amelia getting ready to put an ornament on the tree

Sally looking for the pickle

A LONG video of us decorating the Christmas Tree - nothing much happens in this, so maybe you just want to move on to the next item of interest

Sally with my second cousin (or maybe my first cousin once-removed - I have no idea which one. My beloved mother has an encyclopedic knowledge regarding whether someone is a first cousin, or a second cousin, or a first cousin once-removed, or a third cousin forcibly removed against his will. She once spoke for over 2 1/2 hours about how cousin Orville was actually my second cousin, not my first cousin once-removed, and she only stopped because she noticed a smudge on the refrigerator - she probably could have continued for another half-hour or so). Anyway, the above photo is Sally with my second cousin, who has my exact name - my cousin Sam and his wife Johnna named him after me, because I have been such an inspiration to them and our entire family, so Sam and Johnna thought they should show their esteem for me by giving their son my name. I was honored, but really I am no hero. I am just an ordinary guy who does amazing things and makes the world a better place by improving the lives of others through my foundations and my philanthropic endeavors and my jazz dancing. If that makes me a hero, then hey, I plead guilty.

My nice Aunt Debbie (I have another Aunt Debbie in Texas, who loves to organize and get situated like my sister D;;lkjsad - the two Aunt Debbie's have a fierce rivalry and on the few occasions when they are together they have been known to engage in fisticuffs) with Sally at Christmas in St. Louis.

Dancing Chicken

The girlies with their cousin Emma after the most depressing Christmas Eve service ever (Minister of the Lord: Sure, you have all lost your jobs, and the economy is crashing, and you almost certainly will be unable to feed your family when the snows come. And sure, the world is full of war and poverty and pestilence and evil and it is only getting worse. Sure, Barbara Streisand and Rosie O'Donnell are still alive, health care is unaffordable and unavailable to our society's most vulnerable, and global warming is cooling the planet. And fast food and sugary drinks are causing our young people to be overweight and have diabetes. Life as we know it is as bad as it has ever been, and it will be even worse tomorrow. Merry Christmas, Everybody!). But we had fun later at Scott's house, as Emma played 'Smoke on the Water' on the guitar.

Sally and Amelia brushing their teeth - as my friend Danger used to say, 'Don't brush all your teeth - just the ones you want to keep!'

Exciting Teeth-Brushing Footage - Amelia's hair has no cavities

2009-06-26T22:15:00.002-04:00

September - October with the Girlies

September and October were busy months for us - Kim's Grandma turned 100, my sister Sarah got married, my brother Ronnee had his latest wedding (actually a reception - they got married in July in Homer, Alaska, where I spent a bit of time in the summer of 1986 before I headed off to Kodiak to yank the pancreas and intestines out of defenseless halibuts. That summer I got a flat-top and didn't shave the entire summer, so you can imagine how handsome I looked. While I was there this time, I bought elk jerky from a one-legged man). But that has nothing to do with the girlies, so back to the topic at hand.

Below are some pictures and videos from September and October:

The Wonderful Barbara Peoples with Amelia

Kim's Dad, Kim's Grandma, and Kim with the Girlies
(not pictured: the entire family singing the longest version of 'Thanks for the Memories' in recorded history, led by Original Gary, who loves to hum)

The Girlies, with their Cousin Berkeley (possibly spelled 'Berkley' or 'Berkely' - no one is really sure, but the town in California with the America-hating hippies and weirdos is spelled 'Berkeley', so I get confused)

Kim with Sally in Grandma Hodges Apartment

Grandma Hodges with the Girlies and Their Handsome Parents

Austin and Amelia at Grandma Hodges Party

Grammy Judy with Mike S and the Girlies at Sarah's Wedding Shower - Sarah married a guy named Garth, who loves tattoos and skulls and stuff, so he and I have that in common

Ron and Jen Rahn welcoming Sally and Amelia to Kansas City - I was expecting them to also be waiting with a big limousine, but they love the Earth and decided that we should all try to fit into a Prius

Mike S trying to help Sally, Amelia and Joey Bag O' Donuts Walk Down the Aisle - During the actual ceremony, Sally decided not to participate, so I made my first appearance (but not my last, I hope) as a Flower Girl

Walking Down the Aisle

Sally Fixing My Tie - It was a mess all night, and Sally tried very hard to make sure her Daddy looked handsome. She was, however, unable to do anything about my large forehead.

The Only Bow-Tie Instructions You Will Ever Need - I didn't find this until after the wedding, unfortunately for me

My Sister, D;l;lkjdsa Making the Girlies Laugh - I think she sang them her interpretation of the Lou Rawls Classic 'You'll Never Find'

Lou Rawls

The Beautiful Bride (and My Beautiful Bride) with Sally and Amelia

Ron with Sally

Sally at a Halloween Party In Her Ladybug Costume

Amelia, Looking Pensive

The Cutest Ladybug and Bumblebee Ever!

Sally Is Thrilled

Getting Ready to go Trick or Treating

Kim and Amelia Singing 'You Are My Sunshine'

Nose Kiss

2009-06-18T11:03:00.004-04:00

The Girlies Third Birthday Update

It has been a long time since I updated our goofy family blog, but today is the girlies 3rd birthday and I have finally gotten off my lazy butt and posted some more pictures, video, and hilarious comments (actually, no hilarious comments, because I seem to have forgotten how to be funny). The last year has been amazing – the girlies have grown so much it is almost hard to remember what they were like a year ago, but the good thing is they still think I am funny and they love to giggle, so we are very fortunate.

I was able to spend a lot of time with the girlies the last 7 months, since those weasely Swiss cheese/chocolate/Army knife makers decided that they didn’t need me to report to work every day. At first I was mad at Barney Frank and Chris Dodd for their appalling incompetence in ruining the banking industry and the entire global economy (including Iceland), which of course led to my job situation. However, the upside of having New England states elect idiotic corrupt politicians is that I had the opportunity to watch my girlies get a little bit older every day.

I pushed them around the neighborhood in their tricycles, Amelia taught me the proper way to dance to ‘The Farmer in the Dell’ (what is a ‘derrio’, by the way?), and against Kim’s better judgment I taught them to climb into Amelia’s crib and have amazingly fun jumping contests. When I found out that I had landed a cushy job with the Germans, I was happy that we would no longer have to drink cheap wine (not really) but was sad to think that I wouldn’t be there every day to get them up from their nap or take them to the movie theater to ride the huge escalator.

The last year has been wonderful and Kim and I are the luckiest people in the entire world. Please enjoy the photos and videos that I will be posting over the next few days, and please, PLEASE, stay the hell out of Paraguay.

2009-06-16T22:13:00.068-04:00

July - August 2008 with the Girlies

July and August were terrific months - Jenny came out to see us, we went to Florida to spend a week with Julie and Original Gary (immediately after arriving, the girlies asked if they could start driving slowly, eating dinner at 4:30, and complaining about the government), my Mom spent a couple of weeks in New York, and Kim's Mom and Aunt Mikey spent a week with us at the Jersey Shore.

In August Mimi (the girlies' wonderful nanny) was attacked by a rabid coyote and broke her ankle, (Mimi's ankle, not the coyote's) which ultimately kept her at home recuperating until February. Fortunately, we lucked into a great situation with the lovely Barbara Peoples, who took care of the girlies until Mimi was able to return. And July and August were also good months because at that point the Swiss were still allowing me to show up every day, and in return they would deposit money in my bank account every few weeks.

This, however, would not last.

Below are some pictures and movies and stuff:

Jenny in Central Park with the Girlies

Uncle Original Gary with the Girlies in Tampa - Original Gary Loves to Hum

The Girlies Climbing on the Jungle Jim

The Girlies with Aunt Julie in her Pool - Aunt Julie Enjoys Listening to Sandi Patti

Kim Lounging with Sally

Amelia Playing in Aunt Julie's Pool

All of us with Kim's Aunt Mimi, Aunt Phyllis, and Uncle Don - they all moved to Florida because they love shuffleboard

Sally Dancing

Grammy Judy Just Made Sally Laugh at Something

Amelia Smiling at Grammy Judy

The Girlies on the Slide in Central Park

The Girlies with Grammy Judy at the Park

My 'Mom' (Judy) with Amelia at the Choo Choo park

Sally's VERY FIRST Amusement Park Ride

Amelia's Very First Amusement Park Ride Too - Neither of them seem happy about this, but they really did enjoy it. Amelia now wants to ride the Screaming Eagle.

Video of the Girlies at the Amusement Park

Aunt Mikey and Kim's Mom with us at the Point Pleasant Boardwalk - Aunt Mikey played skeeball and won a huge blacklight poster of KISS

The Girlies with Julian in his Wagon

Amelia Went to Beanbag - Like Mother, Like Daughter

Kim with Sally at the Beach

2008-07-25T22:51:00.023-04:00

Gotcha Day

It is typical for families who adopt girls from China to refer to the day they met their daughters as 'Gotcha Day.' I don't know how to feel about the term - it always makes me think of that movie ('Gotcha') where the kid from 'Revenge of the Nerds' was a college student and expert paint-ball player (?) but the dirty Russians thought he was a spy and he had to get back to the US with the secret microfiche in order to prevent us from losing the Cold War and having to speak Russian and eat Borscht. Or something like that.

Anyway, I really don't want my girlies to have anything to do with the kid from 'Revenge of the Nerds' (he is now an old bald guy, like me) who also played 'Goose' in 'Top Gun', but I guess we still have to call it 'Gotcha Day' because, well, that's what they call it and no well-reasoned Anthony Edwards-related discussion can change that.

We are even extra lucky because our 'Gotcha Day' was June 18th, which is also the girlies birthday. So our friends Brian and Liz, who were with us in China when we all met our new daughters, decided to come to NY to celebrate the day with us. They have some friends (Anne and Michael) who live in Tribeca in a most amazing apartment, and so we spent the day together at their apartment celebrating Sally and Amelia's birthday and the day we all met our daughters. It was quite swell.

Here are some photos:

Kim and Liz, hugging:

Sally, being cute

The girlies, sitting on the stairs

Amelia, playing with a big bubble making thingy

All of the kids dressed in their Chinese dresses - very cute

And now for one and only one enjoyable video:

Sally and Amelia on the stairs:

2008-07-25T22:44:00.010-04:00

The Girlies Second Birthday Party!

The girlies turned two on June 18th, and the Saturday before that we had a party for them in Central Park. Below are some photos - we didn't get too many photos because were too busy trying to light candles and fighting with the ridiculous woman throwing a party next to ours. Several of the photos below are from our friend Brian from Seattle, who has a much better camera (and some actual photographic skills).

Our wonderful neighbor, Maria, waiting for Sheep's Meadow to open

My friend from college, Eric Nielsen, happened to be in town that weekend with his lovely wife Shelby. Eric seems to be keeping most of his hair, unlike me.

Kim and Sally, with Liz and Katie Rose - Liz and her husband Brian (Mr. Photographer) were in China with us last year - they adopted the beautiful Anna Grace (not pictured) from Jiangxi the same day we met the girlies

Super-neighbor Maria with Amelia

Worst. Elmo. Ever.

Trying to show Sally the Elmo bubble-blower

Amelia is so cute!

Mimi with the stroller - just the other day Mimi broke her ankle because of a rabid poodle, and none of us are happy about it.

2008-07-25T22:26:00.000-04:00

Random June stuff

As I already noted, June was the girlies birthday and also their 'Gotcha Day.' Below are some other random photos from June:

Kim's friend Stacy Bielema-O'Malley was in to try to con some doofus into purchasing more overnight delivery services. When she was done with that, she came to see us and the girlies.

Our friends Gene and Staceeee bought the girlies this tent for their birthday - it is very cool and it is a huge attraction every time we set it up in the park.

With our friends Liz and Brian from Seattle and our new friends Anne and Michael who live in Tribeca where we had our 'Gotcha Day' party (see other blog entry).

Sally looks pretty cool in my socks

Our nephew Elijah bought the girlie enormous stuffed animals for Christmas, but Jenny kept forgetting to send them to us. We finally got them and the girlies love them.

Our friends Shawn and Kristen Crowley were in town from suburban Ohio. She enjoys bunko and he likes to run long distances for no reason. They have two boys, both Irish.

Below are some videos:

Amelia in our garden:

Sally gardening:

Amelia HATES Kim's singing:

Amelia giggling

2008-07-25T20:46:00.033-04:00

Mexico in May with Judy Ann y Don

Much to the frustration of my lovely and talented wife Kim, I have had a very difficult time updating this blog. One reason is that I want to include videos from the YouTube and I can't do that at work (my company blocks the YouTube because they don't want the employees wasting valuable work time watching videos of guys getting hit in their, uh, you know, sensitive region, which is about 85% of what is on there).

But anyway, I would prefer to update this at work rather than at home, because at work all I do is talk to annoying people who won't do what I say, and at home I want to try to want to focus on being a caring, attentive, thoughtful, loving husband and father instead of spending all my time on the World Wide Internet updating this here blog. But, my company won't let me do the YouTube so I keep procrastinating and it never gets done. I do tend to find time to drink wine and watch the third-place Cardinals on TV, though, so it's not like I am that busy.

The other reason why it has taken so long is that I thought I should wait until I was inspired to be witty and charming and hilarious and thought-provoking. Clearly that has not happened, so I will just be boring.

Enough of that - in May we went to Mexico with Judy and Don. It was an absolutely terrific vacation. We had a room on the ground floor right by the pool and the outdoor restaurant, and the girlies were the hit of the resort. This was the first vacation we have had with them and they had such an amazingly good time. We spent most mornings at the beach (I am about to become one of those annoying parents who use baby-talk, but it can't be avoided. They were so cute - "Ocean" was "Oshy", "Beach" was Beesh", and "Sea shells" was, well, "Sea shells") and the afternoons in the pool.

The other wonderful thing was that it was the first time that the girlies were around Grammy and Papa Don (my Mom and Don - I would prefer if my children called them 'Grandma and Grandpa', but I was outvoted) for an extended period , and it was terrific to see them having such a wonderful time with their grandparents.

Below are some photos - please enjoy them, won't you?

The girlies at the airport

Amelia is cool

So is Sally

Walking up the 'slippery floor' - I don't know why we called it that but now the girlies now love to walk up ramps

The four of us after a wonderful dinner. Don paid, which made it even better.

Don and Mike with the girlies and two macaws (parrots). Amelia is trying to hide. I used to really want to have a macaw, a blue and gold one like the one on Don's shoulder. I guess if I got one our cats would eat it, which would be very messy.

Kim in the surf with the beautiful Amelia.

Judy and Don

Amelia in her crib - the resort was nice enough to give us cribs for the rooms, but they were apparently built for dwarves, so I was afraid they (the girlies, not dwarves) (Is it 'dwarves' or 'dwarfs'?) would crawl out. They didn't. Amelia is very cute with Big Bird and Grover. Did you know I met the guy who played Big Bird at the Barnes and Noble? I did. He is not the guy who choked me, by the way, but it was the same Barnes and Noble.

My favorite people in the world - Amelia with a big smile!

The girlies next to the pool - we rarely get a picture of them together

Me with Sally at the beach

All of us in front of the villa

Sally and Don

Judy with Amelia - the girlies just loved being with their Grandma

Sally thinks that lady in the background should wear a cover-up

The girlies and Kim

Amelia and Judy sitting on the steps outside our room

The girlies in their hats and no pants. Amelia is a very smiley baby but we usually can't seem to get her to smile in photos, so it is good and unusual that she is so smiley in so many of these photos.

Kim in her Crocodile Dundee hat with Sally on the beach

Judy and Don with Amelia in the surf

Judy with Sally in the baby pool

Judy walking with Amelia - once again Amelia has a huge smile on her face.

And now for some videos from Mexico:

Judy and Don with Amelia on the beach:

The girlies in the villa, looking at themselves in the glass:

Playtime at the pool:

Judy, Amelia and Big Bird sitting on the patio (Judy singing!):

More with Judy and Amelia:

Kim with Sally on the patio:

Judy, Amelia and a bird:

Amelia playing in the sand at the beach:

Kim with Amelia and Sally on the beach:

2008-04-06T21:58:00.008-04:00

Pink Baby and Plaid Baby Day

Today is Pink Baby and Plaid Baby Day. One year ago today - April 6, 2007- we got the notification that we had been referred the beautiful Ling Cha Yao (Amelia) and Ling Cha Qiong (Sally).

That night we went to China Fun, a Chinese restaurant, to celebrate with Laura, DeYan, Gene, Stacie, Julian and our nephew Jake.

Tonight, on Pink Baby and Plaid Baby Day, we talked a lot about what a great day that was, and we went back to China Fun with Laura and DeYan to revisit the day. Every year on April 6th we will celebrate and tell the girlies about how happy we were when we got the call.

2008-04-06T21:13:00.041-04:00

March with the Girlies

In March my 'Mom' and her latest husband Don came to visit us for Easter. It was all good fun - they came to see the girlies at Gymboree and, uh, some other stuff.

March is also Kim's birthday, which as you all know is the most important day on the calendar. For Kim's birthday I decided to surprise her with theater tickets for 'The Little Mermaid', Kim's favorite movie ever. Then I decided to surprise myself by realizing, at 7 PM the night of the show, that I had tickets for the 2:00 show earlier. Man, was she surprised. There are no photos of that, but I thought I would tell the story anyway, because a lot of people think I am perfect and never make mistakes. Listen, I'm not perfect. I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.

Also that night, Amelia decided to vomit huge volumes of vomit about five times.

Amelia writing her memoirs

Amelia on the phone with her publisher (see above)

Kim is absolutely beautiful

Kim and Sally at Gymboree

Me on the swings with Amelia, with my 'Mom'

Papa Don pushing Sally on the swings - they are both laughing like crazy!

My 'Mom' and Elmo with Sally

Oh man - that is really freaky! (Or: Ozzie got into the Uranium again!)

Easter Dinner!

Judy kissing the girlies at the Natural History Museum

Papa Don doing the same

Judy and Sally walking out of the museum

I think Amelia is going to win!

Sally takes the lead!

As my sister might say, "I could die of cuteness"

The girlies about to hug at the Botanical Garden

Videos:

Amelia LOVES to pick stuff up - whenever she hears the 'Clean Up' song she jumps up and starts putting stuff away. I love this, of course, because it is important to clean and stuff. Here she is singing her daddy's favorite song.

Sally having a great time at Gymboree

At the park with Judy and Don - Amelia going down the slide by herself

Easter morning with the girlies - they are very happy

The girlies with their Easter squeaky shoes

The girlies at the NY Botanical Garden - they were holding hands and being incredibly cute

Can you give a big hug?

2008-04-06T20:49:00.029-04:00

February with the Girlies

In February we celebrated Chinese New Year, our first (of course) with the girlies. It was also time to get Sally a haircut.

Chinese New Year

Sally getting her first haircut

Amelia is darn cute

The girlies sitting in their Chinese outfits

Sally is a future piano player, like her Grammy

It is a tradition for children to kowtow to their parents on Chinese New Year - DeYan reluctantly complied
The girlies with the Jervis-McCarthy's
The girlies with Mimi - the best nanny ever!

Videos:

Sally getting a haircut

Going down the slide with Amelia

The girlies playing with a feather boa at DeYan's for Chinese New Year

2008-04-06T20:44:00.011-04:00

January 2008 with the Girlies

Nothing much happened in January - the girlies were a bit sick and it was cold and boring, so there isn't anything interesting to say. Below are a couple of pictures and a video of the girlies on their tricycles.

Sally on her tricycle

First time on the tricyles

The girlies on their tricycles

2008-01-30T18:01:00.000-05:00

The best video of Sally so far

Sally dancing to the classic 'C is for Cookie' - this is from October, driving back to St. Louis from Pam's wedding to New and Improved Gary. I meant to post this one earlier, but something happened.

2008-01-20T14:34:00.000-05:00

December with the Girlies

For our girlies first Christmas we decided to go to Minnesota (click here for official soundtrack), where Kim's brother Stevie lives. Stevie works for one of the big consumer product firms (I can't remember which one, as he doesn't like to talk about it much) and has three boys, each more strapping than the next.

All of Kim's siblings were able to come to Minnesota except for her brother Scott, who was busy at home, working on his haikus. The best part was the girlies getting to spend time with our nephews.

My nephew Austin has a very large dog (part St. Bernard, part Weimaraner) and the girlies had their first experience with a big dog, which was very fun to watch. This dog, named 'Fido', was big (see photo below) but gentle as a little baby fawn, and the girlies had a lot of fun petting him (her?) and touching his big snotty dog nose.

We also took the girlies sledding for the first time ever which they really enjoyed, but because we were in Minnesota we could only stay outside for 3 1/2 minutes at a time, or else our fingers would become numb and require immediate amputation.

Stevie also has a Nintendo Wii, which was fun, but I felt bad for my young nephews because I repeatedly dominated them playing Tennis and Bowling. It is not in my nature to be a gracious winner, so every time I would crush them at one of these games, I would point at them and taunt them and remind them that I am the greatest ever. They enjoyed that part, I think.

Below are some photos and junk - please enjoy, won't you?

The girlies Christmas card photo - if you didn't get one, uh, our computer crashed and we lost your address or something, probably. I blame the Germans.

Three groovy chicks

Kim's Mom made the girlies their stockings. My mom would have done it, but she was busy dusting.

Sledding with the girlies.

Sally in her St. Louis Cardinals outfit

Me with Amelia at Church - Original Gary (Kim's sister Julie's husband, who is a minister of Jesus) sat behind us and Amelia had an odd reaction to Original Gary's singing voice. He has a low vibrating bass, like Lou Rawls and my sister D;;alskjdf, and every time he would sing Amelia would suffer from involuntary spasms. I quite enjoyed his singing, however, even though the church did like 8 or 9 verses for every Christmas song (did you know that in the sixth verse of Good King Wenceslas, the King gets mad at the poor man from the first verse and makes him give back the pine log and apologize for wasting old Wenceslas's time? It's true. The song also uses the word 'thither', which you don't hear every day) Original Gary also made a gospel album in the 1970s (right).

The girlies with Austin's hound dog

Kim with Sally and her stocking - Sally looks a bit tired, or maybe she got into the Nyquil

The girlies with Santy Claus at the Mall of America - they were thrilled, as you can tell

Happy New Year!

And now for some video:

Trying to take our Christmas card picture:

In the Starbucks (YUCK!) after we took the Christmas card picture:

Sledding in sunny Minnesota over Christmas

Feeding the girlies in Minnesota

2008-01-20T14:12:00.000-05:00

The Girlies First Thanksgiving

For those of you who did not grow up in this great country of ours, our most beloved holiday is called 'Thanksgiving.' Over 75 years ago, the pilgrims arrived in West Virginia on a very large ship, only to stumble upon a very large corn field which had been carved into a very intricate maze by the Hakawi Native America tribe.

In order to qualify for a free turkey dinner, the pilgrims had to make it through the maze, which was tough because all of the directions were in Hakawi, but fortunately Corporal Agarn (played by Emmy-Nominated Larry Storch) spoke the language and the pilgrims were able to make it through, and this was the first Thanksgiving ever.

The Pilgrims and the Native Americans spent the night before Thanksgiving staying up late making the rolls and pie fillings from scratch and drinking wine from a box. The next day everyone woke up and had dinner promptly at 5 PM, only 3 hours later than they were supposed to, but no one was allowed to ask how much longer until dinner because the kitchen was very hectic and someone forgot to turn the oven on and just get out of here and quit asking what time we will be eating because we will be eating at 3:30 or 4:00 at the latest and hush up and get out of here. And don't forget to put some color on your plate.

Then, when dinner time finally came, there was exactly enough for everyone to have plenty of food, as long as you didn't want any white meat and you weren't that hungry and one helping is enough anyway and quit griping about it because if you are still hungry there is still some more of that weird brown stuff with the marshmallows on top, and don't let the corn mix with the mashed potatoes because that is just gross.

Anyway, that is the tradition of the Pilgrims and the Native Americans and how they created Thanksgiving. This year, for the girlies first Thanksgiving we decided to go Kansas City, where my Mom ('Judy') lives. It was very fun, and the girlies loved it. We stayed at D;a;lskjdf's house in Lee's Summit, which was great because D;a;lskjd has had so many kids over the years that she has plenty of diapers and baby beds and those things that cut apples into eight perfectly sized segments.

This was also the first time that my brother 'Ron' had met our little girlies, and they were very happy to meet him and rub his head for luck.

Below are some photos of Thanksgiving and stuff.

Ronnee with Sally - he fed her aboot 6 pounds of Cheerios, and she evacuated her bowels with impressive volume for the next 9 days.

My darling nieces, Colee-olee-o and Natalie. Natalie is in college and dates this guy named 'Scooter.' Colee has a boyfriend who is in his late 30s and is thrice divorced. I am against both of these freeloading weasels, who think that if they play their cards right they can get their hands on some of the big tooth money that D;alskdjf and Joe are pulling in, but I am guessing that once these deadbeats find out that Joe is Italian and knows a guy who knows a guy, they will not be foolish enough to continue these shenanigans.

Us with the girlies on my Mom's balcony watching the Plaza Lights turn on. It was a quite pleasant -7 degrees.

My nephew Spider Man (played by Joey Bag O' Donuts) - De'a;slkjd was too lazy to cook, so he had to make his own flapjacks.

'Judy' turkey bowling - an amazingly fun family tradition

My lovely wife Kim, with what appears to be the Unabomber.

The girlies in a wagon - I was trying to tire them out so they would nap.

Sitting in the wagon - Amelia is playing the air bass guitar.

My friends Christina, Eli, and Boone School Student Council President (1976) Susan Simon all came over to Dl;as;ljdkf's house to meet the girlies. These young ladies above are Christina's daughters, who both are expected to become Homecoming Queen or else there's going to be trouble. For some reason, I took no photos of my friends with the girlies, so you will have to use your imagination.

2008-01-20T14:03:00.000-05:00

Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew Meet the Girlies

My Uncle Drew is a powerful executive of a major international conglomerate, and he is universally feared. He lives in Houston with his wife, my Aint Debbie, and their pet ferret, Jerome. In the early 1970s, my siblings and I would spend summers in Texas visiting my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was always great fun, and my Uncle Drew used to take all of us kids aside and tell us great stories about these crazy kids Sam and George and Sally and Sue.

One of our favorite stories was about the time Sam and George accidentally maimed a young goat, and the hijinks they went through to pin the blame on Tommy, the neighbor kid with the funny ears.

Another time, Sam and George and Sally and Sue were hitchhiking across the country, and after a series of very bad decisions ended up in a van with a bunch of shady characters who had recently done time, including the ring-leader, a deranged balding maniac named 'Hacksaw' who possessed a full beard and the power to control the rest of the group with an iron fist and an intimidating glare.

Anyway, Uncle Drew and Aint Debbie were very excited when they found out that we were going to become parents, largely because they thought it would be poetic justice for me, as I have been unfairly accused of being a difficult youth. In October Uncle Drew found out that he had to go to Boston for a business trip, most likely to crack some people's skulls and get them to start making their sales results or else he was going to clean house.

Since he had to be in Boston, which is only a few hours from New York, he decided to fly Aint Debbie up to NY and join us for the weekend. We were very excited as Uncle Drew has legendary young children-calming skills, which are always welcome in our home.

We spent the entire weekend with Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew, and it was great fun. Below are some photos and junk. There would be more photos of my Aint Debbie, but she is my Mother's sister and has a pathological fear of photographic equipment.

Uncle Drew feeding Amelia

Giving Amelia a smooch at the swings

Sally looking tough

Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew with the girlies in our hallway

Going down the slide

And now a video of Aint Debbie and Uncle Drew pushing the girlies on the swing

2007-11-15T16:07:00.001-05:00

Some Videos from October

Pretty self-explanatory, really (by the way, there are no more embarrassing videos of my mother, so please stop asking!)

Kim Singing to Sally

I wrote in a previous post that we didn't take any videos while D;;aslkjdf was here, but I found a short one from the park with Amelia

Sally Running

Amelia Running

Both of the girlies running (do you see a pattern here?)

A short one of Sally running

A short one of Amelia running

The girlies standing by their stroller

How big is Amelia? (So Big)

Enjoying a tasty snack

2007-11-15T15:37:00.001-05:00

Halloween in New York

We bought these very cute Panda costumes for the girlies and took them to the Central Park Pumpkin Festival the Saturday before Halloween. They actually liked being in the costumes and we got plenty of attention walking around the park with two beautiful little pandas.

In the pumpkin patch

Sally is so cute!
Amelia in her panda costume - I could use a shave
Kim and Amelia

A few days later we dressed the girlies up again for Halloween. We (meaning Kim) had huge hopes for this, as Kim LOVES the Halloween. I have never liked it - first of all, it is the night before my birthday, which I never liked. More than that, though, I just never liked dressing up in costumes. The only exception is that I once dressed up as a big ape when I lived in Iowa (ARRRGGHH!!) and I sort of enjoyed that. When you are dressed as a big ape, you can pretty much do whatever you want and no one can say anything. "Hey! You can't throw the copy machine out the window!" "Sure I can - I am dressed as a big ape!" "Oh, you're right. Never mind" See what I mean?

Anyway, Kim was really looking forward to Halloween because it's her favorite holiday, and the girlies were amazingly cute again in their costumes. One block up from us they have a huge Halloween celebration - each of the brownstones quite elaborately decorate the outside of their buildings and the street is packed with people. This is quite cool, but for 16 month old girls it was a bit overwhelming. Overall, though, it was good fun and Kim is counting the days until next Halloween, when the girlies will be older and will (she hopes) share her love for this goofy holiday.

The girlies at the Halloween street festival

As many of you know, the woman that helps us take care of the girlies is named 'Mimi' - the girls love her and we are very lucky and happy that she has become part of our family. Mimi, in addition to being excellent at dealing with 17 month old twin girls and hanging out with movie stars during music class, is also an avid runner. She ran the New York City Marathon in early November, so we customized a few of the girl's shirts to give her some encouragement. Sally's says 'Run Mimi' and Amelia's says 'Go Mimi'. She ran the whole stinking 26.2 miles!!

2007-11-15T15:13:00.000-05:00

The Girlie's Get Baptised

Photo of the cake from Rutgers Church - it was quite tasty, although I only got about a half-bite

DeYan and Elijah holding the girlies at 'Baptism Rehearsal'

My sister Sarah holding Amelia
Elijah feeding Amelia (she doesn't seem very smiley in these last few photos)The two Grandmas (actually Grandma Linny and Grammy). I prefer that people call their grandparents simply Grandma and Grandpa, because I cringe when I hear grown adults say 'I am going to Poughkeepsie this weekend to see my Geegaw and my Gagagapoo'. I had some childhood friends who used to go visit 'Meema and Daddy Joe'.

The Rev. Laura holding Amelia during the ceremony.
The Reverend Prince, the minister at Rutgers Church, holding Sally after a bit of dunking
The ceremony - the girlies are now all set up with Jesus
All of the Godparents (we had five in total, just in case) after the ceremony
The very handsome family
Kim's Mom (on the left), us with the girlies, my 'Mom' (Judy) and Don
The four of us with Laura Jervis, who performed the wonderful service
Kim with the beautiful Sally at dinner after the ceremony
Amelia is ready for some dinner!
DeYan and Elijah with the girlies A really good picture of Kim with her Mom

2007-11-15T15:12:00.000-05:00

October in the Park with the Girlies

October was quite warm and beautiful this year (Global Warming is AWESOME!), so we got to spend much more time in the park than we expected. Here are some more photos and junk:

The Chinese Moon Festival, one of the two most important dates on the Chinese calendar (this was actually in September)

Kim standing next to a tree with Sally

The girlies loved this tricycle (this belongs to another kid in the park, but our girlies are not to be denied)

Amelia on the tricycle

Amelia in the park - she is so cute

These next two photos may be my absolute favorites so far - as my sister D;alskdjf says: "I could just die of cuteness", although that's not really a fatal malady. But if it were, these photos would cause a level of cuteness that would certainly cause instant death. But it's not, so fortunately I am not dead. Anyway, this is one of Kim's favorite pictures.

And come on - what is cuter than Amelia with a stuffed Panda bear sitting in a Huggies box? Nothing, that's what.

2007-11-15T14:27:00.000-05:00

Random Photos of the Girlies

Here are some more random photos of our darling little girlies from October.

Sally after a bath in her Bunny towel
Amelia after a bath
In the 'rowboat' at Gymboree
Riding the Carousel in Central Park
Sally just relaxing and playing with a container of yogurt (in England they spell it 'yoghurt' or 'yohgurt' or something ridiculous)
Kim in the park with Sally (make sure to watch the video of her singing 'Bubble in the Bath')